In the Name of Love
by KokoAstra
Summary: Ch 4pt3 up 91! Pre-OotP Lily pushed all her friends away afraid of getting hurt but now its 7th year and everything will change because thats what fate intended.
1. Magic

Prologue   
Not for the first time did I wonder if  
it was all one big long dream and that I would wake up any moment  
to my sister hitting me with a pillow telling me to get up and get dressed for school.  
I remember looking around the hustle and bustle of the train station. People checking their tickets  
getting on to platform ten or three, you know everyday type of stuff. Nobody ever suspected  
that between a barrier there lay a whole different world, a world that can only be known   
to a select few and to all the others only dream. I was one of those select few.  
Because you see I am a witch. I belong to the world of magic and fantasy that's read about  
only in books. My name is Lillian Evans and this is my story.   
  
A/N sorry its like this but I had to use Note pad but I'll make it look better soon...I will have  
the next ch up soon I know its short but its the prologue the best is yet to come ::winks:: review   
if you want don't review doesn't matter to me. I won't not put a ch because u didn't review..well anyways   
hope u liked it so far 

For some reason if it is not showing ch 2 go up to the address and after the story id put this: &2 then it will give it to you sorry for the inconvenience 


	2. Memories

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters they belong to the Lovely and Talented J.K Rowling. I only own Jen Cedrone and some other characters my brilliant mind hasn't had time to come up with.

Chapter 1 Memories

I was sitting in a compartment on the Hogwarts Express looking out at the platform. Thinking back when I used to be like them, talking to friends, saying goodbye to your family, playing pranks. But those days are long now. I remember the day exactly, the day I got my letter. It changed my life, for better and for the worst. You see, it was my birthday, and I had just turned eleven. I looked away from the window, to the seat across from me and saw the faded image of a girl walking down the hall and I could just hear her whistling

MEMORY

" Happy Birthday to me hmmm hmm hmm Happy Birthday . . ." TAP . . . TAP . . .TAP . . . I looked around quickly, my red hair getting into my eyes. Nobody was there. I began to walk down the hall singing and whistling to myself. 'It's not every day you turn 11, it should be a momentous occasion. Everybody should celebrate- not because I am turning eleven, but because it's me,' I thought to myself. TAP . . . TAP . . . TAP . . . This time, I was standing next to a window and what I saw made me jump.

"What the heck," I said. There hovering outside the window was a barn owl and it was holding something. I hesitantly went over to the window. I wasn't sure if I should let it in or not. I mean would you just go over and let a strange animal- that is supposed to be nocturnal, I might add, and let it in? I opened the window slowly and the owl came in and dropped what it was carrying and left. I picked up the envelope, which was strangely enough addressed to my bedroom and opened it. I began to read it and I dropped it in surprise. I quickly picked it up and ran down the stairs yelling for my mother . . .

MEMORY END

Well you can guess what was in the letter and what happened next considering I WAS on the Hogwarts express. I have become quite used to owl post now. I turned to look out the window a second time, but I immediately wish I hadn't. What I saw brought back painful memories. I saw my friends or they used to be my friends. God I missed them.

Jennifer Cedrone. Jen moved here from the United States when she was 10. She liked to call herself a mutt. She did that because of her family's background. Her mother was ½ Italian, 1/4 French Canadian and a little Irish and Scottish on the side. Her father was Black Foot Native American, Irish, and Lithuanian. She looked more Italian than anything, with her curly black hair and her dark brown eyes that look black, she was very pretty. She was very athletic too; she played on the house qudditch team. She is a very good chaser, she and James work seamlessly when they're on the pitch. She was like a sister to me. I smiled ironically. WAS being the key word. She was my best girl friend. I didn't have many others.

Sirius Black. Sirius, he was . . . different to say the least. Crazy in the head some people might think, but to me he was the funniest person in the world. If Jen was like a sister to me, then Sirius was like a brother, the same goes for the rest of the Marauders, as they liked to call themselves. Sirius was a flirt, but not a heartbreaker. He would flirt but unusually enough never go out with girls. I asked him one time why he would ignore all these girls, who were practically throwing themselves at his feet. He replied, 'You know Lils just because they're there doesn't mean I have to do something about it. The right girl is out there and I am just waiting for her to come find me. . .I am to lazy to do it on my own.' He would give me a wink and grin and stroll away from me. That's the first time, in my history with him, that he was serious. Other girls liked to say he was tall, dark, and handsome. Me, well I liked to say abnormally tall and funny looking. Sirius was unbelievably mischievous. I bet if you gave him a piece of parchment and some spell-o-tape he would find some way to prank somebody. 'Where there's a will there's a way' he always said.

Then there was Remus Lupin. The quiet studious one as many people dubbed him. But to the people who knew him he was the exact opposite. He was just as mischievous as Sirius was. But instead of being the one to pull off the pranks, he made sure they did what he was supposed to. 'The brains behind the operation', he liked to say. With his sandy blonde hair and hazel eyes lots of girls fell for him. But unfortunately for some and fortunately for one he's taken, by Jen. They seem like total opposite and it was funny when they first started seeing each other -way back in 4th year. She's about the only girl I can think of that wouldn't have a problem with his condition. Remus was a werewolf. I was the first to find out. I always helped him out, by making excuses to say to people and helping him catch up on the work that he missed. It was a relief, when all our other friends found out and we didn't have to hide it anymore, at least to them. I don't think he blames me as much for what I did as the others did. I think he understands, in a way our situations are kind of similar, if you think about it. He almost did the same thing I'm doing. He was trying to protect us, like I am trying to protect them.

Then there was Peter Petigrew. Peter was so sweet sometimes. He was short, although he was taller than I was. Peter had curly hair and blue eyes and a chubby little face that made you think he was your little brother. Peter was loyal and smart. Although he wasn't as smart as the other four, still he wasn't the dumbest person alive either. He was average. Peter was like the little brother I never had and the sibling I wanted, instead of the one I didn't want.

Last but certainly not least, there was James Potter. James was the unofficial leader of the Marauders. He and Sirius could have been twins if it hadn't been for James unruly black hair and glasses. James, I think, took it the hardest. We were best friends. Granted Sirius was another of James best friends, but we had a different type of relationship. We've known each other since we were three. When we first got to Hogwarts, which was as much of a surprise to James as it was to me that I was even there, I think we broke all the rules the first week of school. Of course Sirius helped too, we couldn't leave him out. James made me laugh when nobody else could. We knew everything about each other from our favorite color up to our deepest, darkest secret.

I surprised myself when I never went to James when my family died. Yes, my family died. ALL of them. I don't have a mother or father. I also don't have any aunts, uncles, cousins or grandparents. All of them dead. Except for one lousy good for nothing sister that hated me because I was . . . well me.

At the end of fourth year my family decided to have a reunion. It started the day before I got out of school. Since I was coming the next day they decided to start early and then somebody would come and pick me up . . . I think you can guess nobody did. Amazingly enough Petunia, my lousy sister, survived. Unfortunately or fortunately whichever way you look at it.

Afraid of getting hurt again I pushed all my friends away. They wouldn't let me push them away, so I did the next best thing I could do . . . I avoided them. I didn't eat in the Great Hall, I ate in the Kitchens, I spent all my free time in the Library, and I was always to busy for them to talk to me during class.

I guess a part of me secretly wished that they wouldn't give up trying to seek me out, but eventually they did. They gave up thinking I hated them, a reason they couldn't figure it out. I wish they could know that I did it with the of best intentions. Knowing that they would be killed because they associated with me. I still haven't figured out why almost everybody I had known and loved was killed. The only explanation I can come up with is for some unknown reason it was my fault. Maybe because I am a witch or just out of revenge for some reason.

Jen once said that 'death was the next great adventure'. Well if it is a 'great adventure' I was left in the dust with nobody to catch me when I fell.

As the train started up, I thought back to the time when I told them that I would do everything I possibly could for them and I still would even though all this has happened.

End Chapter 1 Memories

A/N I hope you guys like this because I think she's rambling on parts.

My heartfelt thanks to:

Lizmaurder4eva

Senna

citrus scented my very first review about 5min after I put it up I was ecstatic, even though it was only the prologue.

You guys gave me the courage to continue thank you.

Well enough mushy junk that's just not me. Review if you want and give me suggestions.

Review or not to review that is the question?

I am already done chapter 2, 3 and done half of 4 so when I can get off my lazy but and type this stuff it'll be up so look for a update this weekend 4/12-4/14

Revised June 5 2004


	3. Strange Advice

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of its character they belong to the lovely and talented J.K. Rowling. I only own Jennifer Cedrone and any other character my brilliant mind has yet to come up with. (lol I sound conceited there don't I...oh well)

__

A/N I am going to change to 3rd person because I think it's harder to write from Lily's point of view..but if you want I'll try to change back to 1st

Chapter 2 Strange Advice

When Lily got to Hogwarts she helped the first years find their way to Hagrid. Now I know what you think, why is she helping first years when she's a loner or something, right? Well she may not let people get close, but she's not heartless like a Slytherin. When she was finished, the station was empty and there was one more carriage left. She climbed in and headed up to the school.

When she got to the castle, she went up the stone steps through the large oak doors to the Entrance Hall and stopped at the Great Hall. She listened and made sure that the sorting ceremony was well under way before she went down to the Kitchens for a bite to eat. What she didn't notice that somebody was watching her until she turned the corner to the Kitchens.

James Potter, qudditch captain, Head Boy, and all around good guy watched his once best friend Lily Evans till she disappeared from sight. He never knew why she just suddenly stopped being friends with him. He always thought that it was one joke too far or one of the too many asked questions about homework. But deep somewhere, at the back of his mind, he knew it was something more and something that's far from obvious. He had to get to the ceremony before his friends became suspicious because it usually didn't take the Head Boy 20 minutes to tie his shoes.

When he got to the Great Hall the Sorting was almost over it, there were only three more kids to go. When he sat down across from Remus, Sirius looked at him annoyed, or at least tried to.

"Where were you?" he asked, " We've been waiting here for like 10 years. I was starting to think Snape got to you or something. I was just about to send a search party you know." He turned around pretending to ignore James.

"Honestly Sirius we haven't been waiting that long only a couple of hours, right Remus?" said Jen while nudging Remus with her elbow.

He smiled at her and said, " Yes a couple of hours if every third of a second is a minute. But what James has been doing besides tying his shoe is none of you people's business. It's actually mine. So James what where you doing," he said suspiciously, " snogging some poor unfortunate girl in the empty charms class room, playing a prank without us, or just maybe you forgot how to tie your shoe and you being Head Boy James Potter shame on you."

James blushed; he didn't feel like telling them that he was watching Lily. They would take it badly. They were all very upset with her for what she did and they all didn't know if they could forgive her including James. "Oh, look it's a shame I can't tell you guys' Dumbledore is about to make his annual speech and you know it's going to be good," said James while watching the Head Master get up from the teacher's table to make his speech.

"Welcome back to another year! A delightful one it's sure to be," he began and smiled at them all. "Now I don't want to keep you from your dinner but I do have a few announcements to make because I am sure you will all be too tired to listen after the feast. Now I am pleased to say that your Head Boy is James Potter from Gryffindor," there was a tremendous applause from every table except the Slytherin. Dumbledore waited for the applause to die down before he began again, " Your new Head Girl is Meredith Pierce from Ravenclaw. We had another one picked out but she declined our offer. First years should take note of this and some older students would do well to listen, the Forbidden Forest is off limits. I think that's where we're getting our signals crossed. So I have something to help you," he said and began to rummage around in the sleeves of his robe, "I know it's here somewhere." You could hear noises in his sleeve while he rummaged around. "Hmm how did that rubber chicken get in there?" he pondered taking out a rubbing chicken and looking at in curiously. "Sirius I think you might be able to use this, it's a muggle prank, now where is that book," he said looking around in his other sleeve. Everybody looked at him like he was crazy and Sirius was looking at the rubber chicken in amazement wondering what it did. "Ah ha here it is," he held up a big book that said 'the dictionary' on it. "Let's see, the word forbidden means," he started flipping through the pages of the book.

Sirius suddenly burst out "I don't care what it means, maybe if somebody did they could look it up on their own time and not during the time I can eat because I am really hungry . . . Would you mind terribly if I looked at that rubber chicken after the feast?"

Dumbledore chuckled and said, "Oh yes certainly Mr. Black and I am sorry I got a little carried away. Now one other announcement before you eat. Our caretaker has kindly added some items to the . . .er. . Forbidden item list. Are you sure you don't want the definition?" he asked.

"No!" practically everybody including the teachers yelled but you heard Sirius yell loudest of all.

"Okay well if you're sure. I was just asking. _Two wrongs don't make a right, but_ _three rights make a left_," he said then sat down. Everybody looked at him confused he saw this and got back up and said, " Two wrongs don't make a right but three rights make a left lets all eat the food that's the best." He chuckled and continued, " I am a poet and didn't even know it." He chuckled again and sat down. Everybody cheered when the food appeared.

"Nutters he is," said Peter everybody nodded and dug in. James to dug in. All thoughts of Lily momentarily forgotten.

After Lily finished eating some time later, she started to heads toward her room. At the end of last year she went to Dumbledore and asked if she could have her own room. A request that's usually not given to students, but surprisingly he granted it to her. She never told him her reason for asking of it, but she suspected he already knew and she knew he disapproved.

She couldn't stand to be in the same dorm or the same tower with her friends anymore. Knowing she couldn't be apart of their life. Choosing not to be apart of their life. But she was doing to protect them. After all she has been doing it for two years what's one more going to hurt. Once she was done with school she would get away from the wizarding world never to come back.

She was so caught about memories of the past and plans for the future, she didn't realize someone was trying to talk to her until she felt a tap on her shoulder. She looked up and saw the Head Master.

"Hello Miss Evans," he began, "I saw you in the hall and I just stopped to give you your password for your room. Although I am still trying to figure out why you wanted a separate room from the rest of Gryffindor. But life is a mystery to be lived not a problem to be solved and far be it from me to discover the secrets of life. I noticed that you weren't at the feast today, but I myself crave peace and quite from the day's events. Well here is your password, I should be going, the school can't run itself you know." He stopped to think for a second. " Well . . . maybe it can. Here you go." He finished handing her a piece of parchment and walked away.

Lily stood shocked for a few seconds. 'Wow wasn't that a one sided conversation,' she thought. She finally got over her amazement and continued down the hall. She was pondering that life is a mystery comment until she got to the portrait that hid her room.

She always loved this painting. It had a pack of wolves hunting in a forest under the night sky. If you listened close enough, you could just hear the wind blowing through the trees and the soft padding of the wolves feet. It always reminded her of her dreams.

She was about to say the password and realized that she didn't know it. She opened the parchment and stared at it confused for a few minutes. She snapped out of it, she said the password and went in. She left the parchment open on her nightstand and got ready for bed. When she blew out the candles, the moon illuminated the words on the parchment.

__

Hearts Desire (?)

End chapter 2 Strange Advice

A/N well I hope you like it.

Two wrongs don't make a right but three rights make a left Anonymous

My mother always said life is a mystery to be lived not a problem to be solved and I thought it was fitting.

Review or not to review that is the question?

If you want to please give me some suggestions.

Ch 3 Beginnings of Old Friendships.

Revised June 5, 2004


	4. Beginnings of Old Friendships

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters they belong to J.K Rowling. I only own Jen Cedrone. 

Chapter 3 Beginnings of Old Friendships

When Lily woke up the next morning she had forgotten all about the mysteries of last night. She was just happy to be back...Her home or as close as one she has had for awhile. Away from foster families and Petunia's harsh words. As far as she was concerned she didn't care if she ever saw Petunia again. But she was made to see her every weekend. She still hasn't figured out why though. 

Lily put her hair in the accustomed bun and went out the through the Portrait. She was trying to figure out if she wanted to go to the Great Hall to hear the morning announcements. 'It's pretty late,' she though, 'Nobody would notice if I just sneaked in to hear them and then go to the Kitchens during my break. Dum dum choices choices. Lily your such a ditz.' She chuckled, then stopped short. 'Oh my god Lily, you're alone way too much. You're going crazy.'

Suddenly someone bumped into the back of her making her fall to the ground. When she looked up she saw the last person she intended to see...James Potter. "Oh I am sorry I didn't realize I was in somebody's way," she started.

"Oh no it's my fault. I didn't watch where I was going," he said bending down to help her up. "Hi I am Head Boy James Potter." He stuck out his hand to shake, which she ignored.

Lily felt tears well up in the corners of her green eyes. 'I couldn't have changed that much in two years,' she thought, 'I may be a little thinner but that's it.' 

"You know you look like someone I used to know." He took her arm and started to lead her down the hall. " She was very pretty with red hair and green eyes juts like yours. I wonder if you have seen her around. I haven't talked to her in a while and I really miss her. Her name was Lily Evans. Do you know her?" He turned to look at her with a big smile.

By now Lily was crying silently. 'What did you expect,' she thought, 'for him to recognized you after two years of ignoring him.' Lily looked at the ground; she didn't want James to see her cry. But unfortunately he did.

" Oh, I am sorry Lily, I didn't mean to make you cry," he said while trying to wipe away her tears with his sleeve. "I just thought I'd joke around a bit. I haven't seen you in a while you know." 

She gave him a watery smile. "No.. I...I guess its my.. f-ff-..fault," she said, "Well I think I should be going, don't want to be late for class." Even though she had no intention of going to class she started to walk away.

"Lily class doesn't start for another hour. And incase you have forgotten, which I highly doubt because you have the memory of an elephant, that charms class room is over there," he said pointing behind him. 

She stopped again. He went up to her, took her by the shoulder and turned her around slowly. He had to stoop slightly to become eye level with her. 

"Lily," he said softly," I have known you for almost 14 years, I known something is, was or continues to be wrong. We were best friends for 13 years, 9 months, 12 hours, 35 minutes, and 5 seconds but who's counting. But what I am trying to say is, I don't get why suddenly you don't want to be friends with us anymore. I know it wasn't just something I did because you won't talk to Sirius, Remus, Peter, or even Jen anymore. Even my parents are worried about you..and your family. Did you move or something because they went over there and somebody else answered the door." 

" James it's nothing you did," she said equally as soft.

"Then can you please tell me why? I don't want to lose you anymore than I already have. I miss you...more than you'll ever know." 

Lily looked at the ground, to avoid his gaze because she was sure it held to many emotions that she didn't want to see. " No, I can't...It..I-It hurts to much." She was crying again. 

"Then if you don't want to tell me you don't have to, I am not going to make you. Will you at least let me be your friend again?"

" No, I can't do that either," she said. She was furiously trying to wipe away her tears. "I don't want you to get hurt." 

" Lily," he began, " I will always stick by you, even when Sirius is after you because he has a new prank idea. Right now he does and it involves a rubber chicken, but don't tell him I told you, I was sworn to secrecy." Lily gave a small laugh, which made James smile. "Don't worry its not aimed at you. Snape I think. But a friend is someone who comes in when the world has gone out, and even though you won't let me, I will always be your friend and I'll always be here whether you know it or not. Now enough mushy stuff it's just not me," he said while taking her arm again and leading her to the charms room. " Why don't we got to Charms a little early, we can wait here till everyone comes in." 

Lily sat down in her usually seat, James hastened a moment then sat down next to her. "Don't you usually sit back there," she questioned pointing to the back row.

" I am touched you noticed. Yes but I thought I would keep you company till class started," he said with a big smile.

" Don't forget," she laughed, " I sat with you for four years back there." 

" Yes you did," his face serious, " and you still could." Her smile wavered. 

They sat in silence until class started. Each contemplating what happened in the hall. When the students started to trickle in, James got up and went to his normal seat. Lily's gaze following him.

Suddenly Sirius burst in, the others followed at a more sedated pace with big smiles on their faces. Sirius started to talk excitedly to James. "What did you forget how to tie your shoe again," he nudged James with his elbow, James just smiled. " Well he said we could, can you believe it. We're going to do it on Halloween." Sirius started to rub his hands together and he smiled. 

With one last look at Lily, James turned to question Sirius about something. Lily turned back to the front of the classroom.

Something changed between her and James out there. She didn't know what it was, but it did. Maybe, just maybe everything would be okay. 

~*~*End Chapter 3 Beginnings of Old Friendships*~*~ 

A/N well there ya go, hope you liked it. Sorry it's short. But ch 4 is going to longer a lot longer. 

Ch4 New Beginnings to Everything

~James and Lily meet 

~ An Attack 

~James gets hurt, Lily tries to help and Sirius yells

~A friend is someone who is there when the world goes out~ Anonymous ~

To review or not to review that's the question?

Review if you want and give me some suggestions. 


	5. New Beginnings to Everything pt1

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters they belong to J.K Rowling. I only own Jen Cedrone.

Chapter 4 New Beginnings to Everything

Lily walked out of Charms thinking about James. They were inseparable when they were little. They did everything together through thick or thin, no matter what. 'What's so different about now?' she thought. 

She was heading towards transfiguration. Before she knew it she was there. Oddly enough she knew she was there without looking up because she slammed right into the door. 'This day keeps getting better and better she thought,' and went in. She was meet with 22 amused faces and one stern looking professor. "Miss Evans," Professor MaGonagall began looking slightly amused, "there is a muggle saying 'you have to be smarter than the door,'" she thought for a moment, "But around here it a may be quite impossible. Please take a seat and we may begin," she said gesturing to the only empty seat. Which was coincidentally next to James. 

'Why did you get up this morning,' she thought to herself. She felt like banging her head against the table. But she settled for sitting down stiffly next to James. She looked around the room and was glad to see the rest of the Marauders on the other side of the room. But was not glad to see them giving her cold looks. She quickly turned to the front of the classroom to avoid meeting their gaze again. 

She felt someone looking at her and turned to see James staring at her. She smiled weakly at him. 

"You know I had hoped we could get another chance to talk," he said "But this is neither the time or the place." He gave her a meaningful look and turned back to the front of the classroom. 

He was hinting at something, she knew, but it was up to her to make the move. He wasn't going to force her to do anything she didn't want to, for fear of pushing her even farther away. She wasn't sure if she was ready. He knew that. But he also knew that the more she kept stuff to herself the farther she pushing her self to the point of no return. The point where he would lose her forever. He couldn't handle that. 

She had some thinking to do. When she looked into his eyes now all she saw was anger, hurt, and confusion. Buried deep was the emotions she once saw, even when he was angry at her love, warmth, and friendship. She missed those and she didn't know if she could get those back and if she could, she had to work for it. 

By the end of class she had done some hard thinking and got a detention for not paying attention. She made her decision. She came to the conclusion that what she did to her friends was wrong. That was pretty obvious but what got her was she never gave her friends the choice not to be friends with her. Now she felt she would never be able to give them that choice, because their choice was pretty clear, they wouldn't and didn't want to be friends with her. She pushed them away for good, which is what she intended. But a certain messy haired boy with a great smile wormed his way back to her. He was giving her a second chance, not the other way around. He was ready to forgive and forget. 

At the end of class she quickly got a piece of parchment out, once she made her decision she wrote: 

****

James, 

I came to the conclusion that maybe I should have giving you guys the choice about being friends with me, after I told you what happened. Once I give you the story you will have that choice. But even if you decide not to be friends with me anyways I owe it to you my best friend, the one I knew for almost all my life, the truth. I will understand if you feel you don't want to be friends with me, But I will always be your. Please meet me at on the hill by Shrieking Shack at 1 o'clock next Hogsmeade trip. 

Always and Forever your once and still Best Friend 

Lily 

Before she lost her nerve she gave him the note and left. She thought she didn't need to stay around for an answer if he came, he came. If not..well...hopefully he came. 

****

**************

James looked at the note that was thrust into his hands. He kept turning it over in his hands afraid of what it might say. 'It probably says I hate you or stay away from me, never come near me again,' he thought ' nah Lily wouldn't do that.'

'The old Lily wouldn't. The Lily you thought you knew. The Lily you knew since you were three and used to play in the mud wouldn't. But this one...' a voice in the back of his mind said. He scowled

He took a deep breath and opened it slowly; afraid it might explode, and read it. A small smile crept across his face. He knew Lily probably wasn't there still, but looked anyways and saw only the Marauders coming towards him. He put the note quickly in his pocket, not sure how to tell them Lily was ready to talk to them again. He could forgive her but 'could the others' he asked himself. 

"The nerve of her sitting with poor little Jamsie like that," Sirius said pinching James cheek like a little baby. "Did she bother you?" James just ignored him. 

"Where was she supposed to sit, on the floor?" asked Peter trying to keep the amusement off his face. 

"Well...er....uh...Well just think of James feelings. Bring up bad memories. How dare her? He's probably hurt and confused," Sirius said while patting James head. James just pushed his hand off and Sirius was pretending to look hurt. 

"Sirius," James laughed, " You just made no sense there." 

"I am not supposed to make sense I am Sirius."

"Ya, well your weird too," retorted James. 

"_Just because you think I am weird doesn't mean your normal_," Sirius huffed and walked out of the room. They just looked after him amused. He stuck his head back in and said, " Well are you guys coming it's a long walk up to the North Tower." He smiled and wiggled his eyebrows.

Jen and Remus laughed and walked out after him hand in hand. "Well come on Pete, let's go keep them out of trouble," James said while walking out after them, Peter just smiled. 

When James got to the trap door he asked, " Do guys ever think that Lily was trying to protect us from something?" 

"Like what?" asked Jen, her face serious. An unusual expression on a face usually filled with humor. 

" I don't just look at Remus he almost didn't want us to be friends with him because of his condition. He was afraid of hurting us," and with that went up the ladder. 

"Yes, but I doubt its something like that," Remus said as soon as he was up. 

"I know," he sighed and sat down in a pink fluffy chair by the window. He decided to tell them about the note. " Lily asked me to meet her on the next Hogsmeade trip. On the hill by the Shrieking Shack at 1." He showed them the note. "Do you guys think I should go?" he leaned his elbows on the table and looked at them.

"I don't know, that's up to you James. She might just hurt you again. I don't know if you want that or not," said Sirius flipping through his divination book.

"You guys could come if you want," James said getting out his own book.

Jen leaned back in her chair and sighed. "No, I don't think so. I think you should go alone. She asked you not us. If she wanted all of us she would have asked. You've also known her longer. She probably thinks you would understand best and maybe you would. I don't know. All I know is I am miss my best girl friend and I want her back." Remus squeezed her hand gently. 

When the rest weren't looking Peter scribbled something down on some parchment and out it in his pocket a triumphant look on his face. 

James looked out the window deep in thought. A flash of red caught his attention. He came to a realization. He watched that spot long after the flash was gone. 

****************

The next Hogsmeade trip was September 21, 3 weeks away and where ever Lily was James was watching. Lily made it a point to avoid James as much as possible...more than she already did. 

The morning of September the 21st dawned cold, Grey and cloudy. Lily dressed in a pair of comfortable pants and a loose T-shirt. She grabbed her cloak and headed it out. 

Lily was nervous, she hasn't talked to James more than twenty minutes in two years. She hasn't talked to anybody more than twenty minutes in two years. She wasn't sure he was going to show up. What if he didn't? Where would she be then? 'Alone,' thought Lily. 

She decided to walk to Hogsmeade, instead of taking a carriage. She needed the time to think of what she was going to say. But all the time in world wasn't going to be enough. She had an hour and a half before she had to meet him and the walk would calm her nerves. 

As she trudged up the hill, she saw the Shack blend in with the sky and realized it was going to rain. 'Maybe it will hold off long enough for James not to show up,' she thought bitterly. 'Why do you expect him to come? You have ignored him for two years and now you expect him to come when you want him to? And for him to do it out of the goodness of his heart?' 

She got to the top of the hill and turned to look out over the forest. She could hear shrieks of joy and laughter coming from the town behind her. 'I would give anything to be like them again,' she thought. 

'Remember Lily it was your own doing that brought you where you are,' said a voice in the back of her mind. 

She stood there for a quarter of an hour, the wind getting stronger by the moment whipping her hair around. She crossed her arms over her chest. She was getting cold. It was getting cold. 

'Face it Lils he's not coming you've been standing here for fifteen minutes,' she thought to herself. 

She turned around to go and started forward but stopped. Because there he was. James Potter. Wind whipped hair cloak billowing out behind him. Just standing behind her, staring at her with an odd look on his face. 

"How long have you been here?" she questioned. She pulled a piece of hair out of her face the wind kept insisting be there. 

He shrugged. "A couple of minutes." He still had that odd look on his face. In three strides he came to stand in front of her a mere hands length away. So close she could smell his cologne. "Lily I-," he started. 

"Oh isn't this touching," a new voice proclaimed. 

~*~*End Chapter 4 New Beginnings to Everything pt.1*~*~

A/N I decided to do this chapter in 3 different parts. It would be way to long for me to type out all together. Part 2 is giving me some trouble so I have to re-write some of it. It should be up around Wednesday or Thursday. Part 3 should be up around Saturday or Sunday. 

Just because you think I'm weird doesn't mean you're normal." Unknown 

My heartfelt thanks to all those who reviewed they have made my day. 

~*mkv*~

~*Citrus scented*~

~*Lizmaurder4eva*~

~* Angelxd14*~

To review or not to review that is that question?

Review if you want and give some suggestions. 


	6. New Beginnings to Everything pt2

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or its characters. They belong to J.K Rowling and various publishers. 

Chapter 4 pt 2 New Beginnings to Everything 

They whipped around; James had his wand out before you could say 'snitch'(A/N this has a double meaning. If you look again at ch4pt1 it will give a hint to who the strangers. It would be when they were in divination). He immediately shot a disarming spell at the stranger. Lily panicked slightly she remembered leaving her wand on her dresser. 

"Now, now Mr. Potter that wasn't very nice," said a man hidden in a dark cloak his face hidden from view. "I came here expecting only Miss Evans and low and behold I find the _Gryffindor Heir_. Surprise surprise, shall I say, as the mudbloods put it, kill two birds with one stone." He laughed not the warm friendly laughter of friends but a high cold laughter of somebody who enjoys killing. 

Lily's face went ashen; she stumbled back bumping into James as she did so. He put a hand out to steady her. Startled she looked into James reassuring gaze. He looked down at her and gave her a small smile, then looked at the stranger. 

" Can I help you, _sir_?" with an edge to his voice. " If not can you please leave. My friend I are not comfortable with your presence here." James still held his wand toward the stranger. 

The stranger smiled his cold eyes accessing. " I am no stranger to your friend here. Ask her I am sure she can explain. I don't bother with explanation. But I am not _comfortable_ with your wand pointed at me Mr. Potter." He raised his arm wand in hand and yelled, "_Expelliarmus_." Only one wand flew towards his hand he looked at it and grinned. " Miss Evans I am surprised, heir to the legendary order and you forget your wand. Very careless of you don't you think and in times like these. I expected better. You don't want to go out defenseless, you might get hurt then you wouldn't do me much good will you?" He said looking at the single wand curiously. 

James pushed Lily behind him despite her protests and started walking towards the stranger. He stopped short looking down the end of a wand. "What do you want?" 

" What I want is none of your business. But since you're going to stick around anyways, I might enlighten you," said his eyes flickered to Lily. "But first I let me introduce myself." Suddenly there people all around them, all wearing dark cloaks and masks. They bowed there heads simultaneously with their wands pointed at the them they said " Lord Voldemort." 

He took off his hood revealing a cruel face and cold brown eyes. "These, my friends, are my faithful Death Eaters," he gestured around them. " To show the our world that a new Dark Lord is rising to power I am going to start off with a bang." Suddenly there was a blast and people started screaming. Lily and James couldn't see, but they knew that this day was going much worse. " The first official attack of my reign is dedicated to you Miss Evans." He gave her a mock bow. 

Lily stepped out from behind James and stared him down. " You know the teachers will be here any second. You won't get away with this."

"The teachers? You think they are going to protect you?" He started laughing. " That's very funny. That really is." He pretended to wipe a tear from his eye. Lord Voldemort waited a second he seemed to be enjoying the screams and blasts coming from below. He sighed 

" Music to my ears. The teachers I am afraid are going to be busy down there," he gestured toward the little town, "and we can get to business up here." 

There was aloud crack and a branch fell beside one of the Death Eaters. They all jumped. "Go find the fool that did that," Lord Voldemort snapped to one of his men. 

Lily turned just realizing how close she was to James. A new feeling washed over her, but she dismissed it just as quickly as it came. She saw a gap between the Death Eaters. Below was the once quite little town, now filled with burning buildings and people running or fighting. She could here the shouts of people and the screams of children lost in the battle. Bodies littered the ground, both the enemy and their victims. She knew she had to do something or risk more people dying because of her, too many people already have. She whipped around and stared at Voldemort fury etched on her face. "How can you do this?" She screamed. 

"Because I can," he replied an evil smile on his face. "Because I can," he repeated. There is no such thing as good and evil only power and those to weak to seek it." He walked closer his wand pointed his wand at Lily. " Do you want to see what power can do Miss Evans? What power can accomplish in a single word? _Crucio_," he screamed a green light shot down his wand towards Lily. 

Lily couldn't breath it hurt so bad. She couldn't tell if she was screaming or not, sounds smells, sight all blurred together. White spots kept darting in and out of her vision. Vaguely she thought she heard someone scream her name. The pain was unbearable just as she was about to pass out it stopped just as suddenly as it came. She was on the ground gasping for breath, her throat raw. When her vision cleared she could see James worried face looking down at her. She tried to say something but coughed instead. "Shh it's ok don't talk," he said whipping some of her hair out of her face. 

"See what a little power can do Lily," he said cruel humor in his voice. 

She found herself flying through the air. She was stopped by something very solid. She heard a snap and a crack, wood falling around her. She stayed there for a second before falling very hard on to the ground. She heard another snap, which she speciously thought was her ankle considering the wrong angle it was at. She was so numb right now from pain she didn't think she would feel it if she were dropped into a volcano. When she looked up she saw James struggling against two Death Eaters. Voldemort was walking towards her. 

"Now Miss Evans I am going to give you a choice," he said pointing his wand at James. " You either join me and he goes free. You know what will happen if you don't. The same old cliché," he waved his wand around carelessly. "So...What will it be?" 

She just sat there looking at the ground. "Sounds like a loose loose situation to me," she whispered hoarsely. He didn't hear her. She just sat there thinking. Knowing she would never let James die. She tried to get up, using the tree to help her. But she failed and fell to the ground with a cry of pain when her foot gave out. She sat there looking around her at the battle raging below. '_It's all my fault_...' She looked over at James and saw him struggling harder until one of the Death Eaters punched him in the stomach knocking the wind out of him. She looked away a tear streaked down her face. She closed her eyes blocking out the sight of the world and bowed her head. She considered her options. She wasn't going to give up that easily, there had to be another way. She didn't know what to do. On one hand she couldn't let James die. But she also couldn't join this cruel excuse for a human being. More tears slipped through her closed eyes. 'This is exactly why I wanted them away all these years,' she thought bitterly. She opened her eyes and looked up at the Dark Lord and for a brief second he emerald green eyes seemed to be glowing with fire and fear flickered over Voldemort face but was gone as soon as it came. 

He was getting frustrated with her silence. She listened to the screams and blast from below. '_This is all my fault,_' she thought '_All my fault_...' Another tear slipped down her face. '**_Well then Lily if you think it's your fault what are you going to do about it?_**' said a voice from somewhere in the back of her head. 'Deal with it and put it to an end,' she thought forcefully. She got to her feet this time ignoring the pain in her ankle. She felt like one big bruise but she couldn't let that stop her. 

"You know Lily maybe some flying will help you clear your thoughts," he said. 

She found herself being thrown through the air again. This time she was thrown off the top of the hill. She was about ninety feet in the air and she knew that a tree wouldn't stop her this time. She screamed. Everything was going in slow motion. She heard James scream her name, then cry out in pain. 

Something clicked in Lily. It was slowing her decent but not fast enough. She hit the ground with a sickening thud, right in the middle of the battle. She was almost knocked unconscious. But something was driving her to go on, to get up and deal with Voldemort once and for all. Ignoring the pain in her body, ignoring how damaged it was and that she probably shouldn't be moving at all, she clambered to her feet. Breathing heavily she started walking towards the hill limping. There was a bright golden glow surrounding her. Blinding everyone in the vicinity. Everyone stopped, Death Eaters and village people alike, shocked. The only thing that could be heard now was a sickening scream on top of the hill. Lily stopped and closed her eyes. Her finger was twitching, then she moved her whole hand and when she opened her eyes she was standing in back of Voldemort who had his wand on James. He was on the ground screaming. She started chanting words she didn't know. The golden glow getting brighter with each passing word. "Anachoreo arti protoklisia adelphotes tagma epitasso adapanos elaphros boulema katischuo!" She kept repeating these words over and over again.

Voldemort turned around surprised, knowing what these words meant. Fear showed on his face. The golden light was getting stronger and stronger. Suddenly there was a blast a showering of red, green and gold sparks. 

*** 

The light was so bright that nobody could see for a couple of minutes, even the people down in Hogsmeade. When everyone could see again all the Death Eaters were gone save the few that are mortally wounded or dead. The only people up on the hill were Lily and James. The people didn't know what to do; they just looked at each other. One second they were surround the next their attackers weren't there. The teachers that had come down from Hogwarts raced up to the hill. 

***

Lily ran, as well as she could, over to James and collapsed next to him crying. "I am so sorry James," she said touching his face making sure he was all right. Blood was covering his face. Lily was put under the curse for a half a minute, she didn't know how long James put under it but she knew it was for a long time. " I didn't know..thi..This was going to happen. I am so so sorry its all my fault.." Lilt kept rambling and crying. 

James put his hand on her face whipping away the tears and piece of her hair that stuck to her cheeks. " Lily you cry to much over me," he gave a little laugh then hissed in pain. " I am ok," he said after seeing the worried look in her eyes. " What about you? You're probably a lot.."

She cut him off. " I am not crying," he gave her a disbelieving look. It started to rain. Big drops splashing on there heads. " I am fine also just a broken ankle I think. I hardly notice it." She lied. She knew she had a lot more broken bones than just an ankle and it hurt like hell. James was about to say something when Professor Dumbledore came up behind them. 

He conjured two stretchers when he saw the sate they were in. He asked no questions, but lifted James on to one first. When he turned to Lily, she quickly got to her feet. She looked at James and saw he had lost consciousness. Lily toyed with the idea of just giving up to the pain and following James but dismissed it. " I would rather walk," she whispered but he heard her over the rain. 

"Lily," he said taking a step forward. " I don't think..." 

She interrupted him, putting a hand out. " I would rather walk." She said a little more forcefully. 

He relented not wanting to argue with her after what he just seen. To tell the truth he was a little afraid of her and that was saying something coming from him. 

Lily looked around her and notice that about half the teachers in Hogwarts were there fanned out behind Dumbledore. Looking at her with awe, respect and a little fear. She started toward Hogsmeade. Professor McGonagall came up to her and took her by elbow helping her along. Lily looked up at her grateful for the help. The Professor just smiled. 

As Lily walked through the village she saw the extent of the damage. The joke shop was burnt down. Half the buildings were in fact. She felt increasingly guiltier the more she walked on. Bodies littered the street the wounded, the dying, and the dead. The innocent and the enemy. She realized that most of these people would never see the sun set again, laugh at a joke, watch the rain splash against the windows as it was doing now, play with their children or siblings, or million other things all because of her. She turned her head quickly trying to see it all. When she got to one of the carriages waiting she clambered in lost in thought. She didn't notice the four teachers giving her worried looks. The whole journey to the castle was made in silence. When they got there she got out and quickly walk towards the hospital wing. The teachers just watched her go. 

Halfway there she realized James got here before her. She saw the other carriage by the doors but didn't think anything of it. She quickened her pace. When she was a little ways away she saw four people standing by the hospital wing door huddled together. She knew who they were and slowed down a little. She didn't want to face them yet. She didn't want to know how they would react. Limping, cold, and in pain she hesitantly went up to them. The whipped around hearing her footsteps, eager looks on their faces but they turned into scowls when they saw her. They didn't notice her appearance. 

"Do you know how James is?" She asked quietly. Ignoring their expressions. 

"Like you care," Sirius said coldly. He turned her back to her. The others just looked at her with disgust. They didn't know she was in the battle. 

She took in their appearances. They looked fine for the most part just a few cuts and bruises. "I do care. Why wouldn't I?" She asked confused. 

"OH," Sirius whipped around and started yelling. "NOW YOU CARE." He said sarcastically. "THEN WHERE WERE YOU FOR THE PAST THREE YEARS? YOU DIDN'T CARE THEN! BUT SUDDENLY...NOW YOU CARE!? Now you care." He whispered the last part. 

Lily startled looked at the rest of them but was met with cold stares. 

"Now you care," he whispered again. " We don't want anything to do with you...And neither does James." He turned around and strode in the door Madame Promfrey just opened. The others just followed, pushing past a confused nurse. 

The days' events getting to Lily. The tears she tries so hard to keep in spilled out. The day was bad enough. Bad wasn't even a word to describe it. She didn't think there was a word. But what they said, after trying so hard to protect them...She couldn't take it anymore. She just couldn't. Ignoring how cold and wet she was. Ignoring the pain, ignoring her broken bones. She just couldn't take it. She turned around and ran. Nobody would miss her. They all hated her anyway. All she did was bring pain and suffering. Nobody would miss her. 

The worried cries of a school nurse echoed down the hallways after her. "Miss Evans get back here," she yelled. 

****

(a couple hrs later) 

All James could see was blackness. He opened his eyes and everything was fuzzy. Disoriented he picked up his glasses and looked around the empty beds, realizing he was safe, in the hospital wing. He spotted the Marauders and Jen sitting beside him. There was someone missing. He looked around the room again. Confused he asked, "Where is Lily?" 

~*~*End chapter 4 New Beginnings to Everything prt 2*~*~

A/N Thanks to all those who reviewed and told be to get going with the story. I really don't think this chapter came out as good as I wanted it to and it's really bad. I had a lot of trouble with it. But I tried my best. 

Next part Ch4 New Beginnings to Everything prt 3 

~there will be some answers to unanswered questions.

~ We will learn what Lily's heritage is and also what happened the day her family died

~ We might also learn what will happen at Halloween. A hint of something was mention in ch2 I think. 

To review or not to review. That is the question.


	7. New Beginnings to Everything pt3

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or its characters. They belong to J.K Rowling and various publishers. I also don't own _Sound of the Bugle _it belongs to Bryan Adams . . . I think.

Chapter 4 New Beginnings to Everything part three

***

**__**

*******

Sound the bugle now- play it just for me

As the season change-remember how I used to be

Now I can't go on-I can't even start

I've got nothing left-just an empty heart

*******

***

Lily ran down the hallway, breathing hard, her heart pounding fast. She didn't know where she was going, tears clouded her vision. She stopped and found herself standing in front the great oak doors. Not to be deterred she pushed open one of the heavy doors and ran out leaving it slightly ajar. She ran out into the pouring rain not once looking back.

***

"Why do you care?" Sirius said angry standing up. "She had the nerve to come to us . . . us and ask how you were. I told her to shove off. While she was all cozy here, you were out getting hurt. She was here all safe being a bitch to the world giving us the cold shoulder for the past three years . . . three . . . three years." He stopped held out three fingers. Anger etched in every line in his face. Sirius was about to begin again when James interrupted him.

"Sirius you better stop right now if you know what's good for you." His tone was quite but it was a quiet fury. "Don't give me that crap about not caring about us. She does. The fact that we gave up on her proves we didn't care about her has much as she did us. She gave up everything she ever loved, to protect us, Sirius . . . us." James looked at Sirius for a moment, then looked at Remus. "Remus tried to do the same thing in first year when we found out about his lycanthropy but we didn't let him. Lily didn't give up on us first. We gave up on her. I just realized that today." He looked then Jen and asked, "Where is she?"

She tired wiping away the tears but it was of no use. "I-I don't k-know she just ran d-d-down the hall way. She looked like she was limping a-a-a little." She looked away from James she couldn't stand to see the look in his eyes.

He looked back at Sirius again and said, "I would too if I got slammed into a tree and then dropped from ninety-feet in the air." He got up and ran out of the infirmary.

Realizing what that comment meant he collapsed back into his chair and put his head in his hand's tears leaking through.

***

James ran down the hall passing Madame Promfrey and Professor Dumbledore. Madame Promfrey was about to run after him when Professor Dumbledore put a hand on her shoulder. "Leave him be Poppy he just found some disturbing news. But I dare say in a couple months, everything will be back the way it was a couple of years ago," he said with a twinkle in his eye and a small on his lips. She was about to protest but thought better of it.

***

He ran up all six floors to the Gryffindor Common room nonstop. When he got to the portrait of the Fat Lady, he almost forgot the password with all that was on his mind "Fidelis," he said quietly. When the portrait opened he ran passed crying and confused students up to his dormitory. He quickly put on some muggle clothes, grabbed a cloak, a piece of old parchment and ran out.

***

**__**

*******

I'm a solider-wounded so I must give up the fight.

There's nothing more for me- lead me away...

Or leave me lying here

*******

***

Lily ran as hard and as fast as she could into the Forbidden Forest. Trees flew by, branches whipped at her face and hands. The forest was so dense that the raindrops hardly got past the tops of the trees. Lily ran until the pain from her ankle and other injuries penetrated her foggy mind. She collapsed onto the ground right beside a bush. She hugged her knees and laid her head on them and continued to cry, rocking back and fourth. She didn't know how long she was sitting there for staring at the bush in front of her, all she knew was it felt like eternity to her. She didn't care that she was hurt and wet or that it was cold out. She just kept staring into space not realizing that right now that somebody truly did care for her and that particular person was searching frantically for her and if she knew that she might have cared but she didn't. She just sat there wishing she didn't exist.

There was a rustle coming from behind her and she was about to take her wand out when she remembered she didn't have it. She just shrugged and thought, 'It doesn't matter nobody will miss me.' She turned around and she saw James there panting. Everything was getting too much for and she burst out crying again. James threw himself down next to Lily and hugged her tight. "Shh it's all right Lily. I am here. Nothing is _ever_ going to hurt you again okay? I won't let you down again."

__

"Where going to be friends forever right James," said the 6-year-old voice of Lily Evans

"The best," he replied with a grin.

"Promise?" She asked looking at him hope in her eyes her smile getting bigger.

"Promise!"

__

"James," called Lily getting off the Hogwarts express for their first year. "Wait up."

He stopped and turned to her with a big smile. "What you think I would leave you?"

She just smiled. "James' I just want you to promise no matter what happens here we will always be there for each other and that we won't give up each other."

He looked at her for a second. "Why would you think other wise?"

"James please just promise because you never know what's going to happen here. I mean everything is changing and I just need somebody to be my rock. Something that is going to stay solid even when everything else is not." She had tears in her eyes.

"Promise. I will **always **be there no matter what," he said swinging his arm over her shoulder. "To the boats," he cried and dragged a giggling Lily with him.

"I am sorry I broke the promises I made to you Lily." He was crying now too. The sound of the rain hitting the treetops seemed to have a calming effect on them.

Lily pulled back and stared at James. "Its just too much James. Too much. I can't take it anymore. Every night I see them in my dreams and I think of them every second of the day and I don't have anybody to talk to except the damn walls and if I get to close to anybody they are going to get hurt.. and I just can't take it," she sobbed into his shirt.

***

**__**

*******

Sound the bugle now - tell them I don't care

There's nothing I know - that leads anywhere

Without a light I fear I will - stumble in the dark

Lay right down - decide not to go on

*******

***

James was confused. He didn't know whom she was talking about. "Who are you talking about Lily?"

She looked up at him with tearful eyes. "My family. Every single one of them."

" I don't get what you mean. Are they okay?" Terror gripped James, he knew her family very well and the thought of one them getting hurt was just too much to bare.

"They're dead James..Every single one of them. All of them dead . . . except Petunia. But she just as well should be for all the times I actually see her. Do you know I saw them die James, that's I heard his laugh when he killed them? I wasn't even there James but I still saw and do you want to know how I saw it?" She asked her voice a little muffled. Her head was buried in his shoulder racking sobs tore through her body.

"How?" James had a gut feeling he didn't want to know how.

" Through a v-v-video camera that's h-how. It was on a pick-picnic table an-and somebody forgot to turn it off when they went to go ge-get food." She started to cry harder until she almost couldn't breathe. James just sat there rubbing her back horrified at what she was saying. " Then they appeared out of nowhere and started shooting unforgivable curses and peo-p-people where screaming and running. And oh gods they killed little Sam. You know Sam was only three and his birthday was the next day. He was always ex-excited on his birthday. They killed him. He didn't do anything..he was only three. He was so helpless sitting on the ground crying and they k-k-kk-I-killed him. I saw all this because somebody forgot to turn the damn camera off. Then I found the camera when the Aurors gave me their stuff. And because I am so curious I just had to see what was on that. Oh gods I see I that every night when I go to sleep and I see it every morning when I wake up." Lily was starting to calm down now that she was telling James something she hasn't told anybody. "I just want this nightmare to end. When is it going to end James I just give up. I just give up." She whispered the last part. "It was all my fault and today just proves that. I should have been there that day you know it was a family reunion and I should have been there. I can't do this anymore. How can I go on when I have nothing to live for? I have got nothing left." She was talking quietly to herself.

"Lily," he said taking away his hand from her back. He grabbed her chin and made him look at her. She was startled she was lost in her own thoughts and forgot James was there. "None absolutely none of this was your fault. Okay? None! Just remember who you have left. You have me okay I will never leave you again. Just remember who you are. You are Lillian Evans my best friend." He said softly. He took his hand away and saw he left a red mark there and was about to say sorry when he noticed that there was red stuff all over his hand too. He looked at his other hand and noticed it was there to. He got up and pulled Lily with him and turned her around and saw blood was covering her back. "Lily," he almost shouted then in a softer, "Why didn't you go to the infirmary and get your self checked out?"

She turned around favoring her bad ankle and shrugged. "It didn't seem important at the time," she said almost grinning.

"Come on lets go back. I don't know what I am going to do with you. Forgetting your wand, getting thrown against a tree, running away with a possibly broken foot. I don't know why I put up with you." He picked her up despite her protest saying that she can 'walk'.

"Well now your stuck with me," she said giving her first genuine smile in a long time. After talking with James she felt like a weight has been lifted from her shoulder. She felt that everything was going to be okay from now on just as long as she had James's shoulder to cry on.

"I wouldn't have it any other way Lily..I wouldn't have it any other way."

***

**__**

*******

There from on high - somewhere in the distance

There's a voice that calls - remember who you are

If you lose yourself - your courage will soon follow

So be strong tonight - remember who you are

Ya you're a solider now - fighting in a battle

To be free once more . . .

Ya that's worth fighting for

*******

***

~*~*End Chapter 4 part 3 New Beginnings to Everything*~*~

A/N I am so glad that chapter is over with I have written and re-written this chapter and its still not good enough I was going to make it longer but I its late and I am tired and I do have school tomorrow unfortunately I have school tomorrow. This year I am applying to colleges and studying for the SAT's so I don't know when I am going to be able to write again. But never fear I will continue this story even if it takes forever. Suggestions would be greatly appreciated to help me move along with the story. I had major writers block with this chapter that's why it took so long to update and I am really sorry about that I hate it when I do what I did but you can't rush a creative genius like me lol I wish. But hoped you like it.

~* Chapter 5 (finally) *~

~*Dumbledore informs Lily about her past history.

~* The group starts to make amends

and if you have any ideas about how Lily should handle Sirius it would be again greatly appreciated e-mail me, leave them in a review or if you have **AOL** or **AIM** IM me

If you want to know when the next chapter is updated please leave your e-mail address in a review or e-mail

To review or not review? That is the question.


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